In the Striving

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Thing 6: Fun Over Time

I started this blog post around Thanksgiving. It’s now mid-February. Needless to say, it’s been a busy few months, and so I’m just now picking this back up for the last and final “thing every kid needs.” Because it’s been so long, please feel free to reference my previous 6 posts in order to figure out what the heck I’m talking about! Anyway, so since I began writing this over Thanksgiving, for the sake of this post, let me pretend, for a moment, it’s that time of the year again. Throughout the month of November a flurry of inevitable clichés begin appearing on Facebook (ie: daily “I’m thankful for” posts, pictures of elementary age children in their pilgrim and/or Indian costumes, etc.) Typically, I roll my eyes at these things…or anything cliché, for that matter. But one particular post jumped out at me the other day. A friend of mine posted a picture of a project her kindergartner had done at school. He was supposed to list who he was thankful for and why. His

Thing 5: Tribes over time

From pretty early on in our relationship, Kevin and I knew we would one day adopt. It came up casually in one of those “how many kids do you want to have?” conversations. I remember it clearly. As we debated on whether 3 or 4 was the perfect number, I asked, “Would you ever want to adopt?” Kevin’s answer was so confident. “Absolutely,” he replied. At that point, I’m pretty sure my response went something like this: “God would really have to slap me across the face to make it clear that we are supposed to adopt. That’s not just something you do because it sounds like a good idea.” So over time, we settled at having 3 or 4 kids, and possibly adopting someday. Years later, after we had our first son, we endured 2 miscarriages. While that was undoubtedly a tough experience, it was one of the most incredible times of learning clear lessons that God wanted to teach me…one of which was that He does, in fact, want us to adopt some day. Since then, I have had the same con

Thing 4: Stories Over Time

As you have figured out by now, my goal to produce these posts about the “Over Time” series in a matter of 6 or 7 weeks has been rather unsuccessful. However, thanks to the encouragement from Kevin, my dear husband, I’m not allowing myself to feel like a failure. I’ve always been slightly ridiculous when it comes to goals and meeting them. So this time, I’m learning to take a page out of Kevin’s book: Goals are great. Aim to achieve them. But don’t beat yourself up if you don’t, and certainly don’t give up. That said…I started this in early July. It’s now the beginning of October, and I still have 2 more posts after this one. And that’s okay. The funny thing is, I’ve actually been eager to write this particular post since I got started. This is my very favorite of all the things a child needs over time…stories. Have you ever thought about the role that storytelling plays in the life of your child? Probably not. At least I never had until reading this book ( ht

Thing 3: Words over Time

It was my first day at a brand new school. I was in the 8 th grade, and my family had just moved from Kansas City, Missouri to Redlands, California. I was a fish out of water. And any kid who has ever had to move knows that the most dreaded part of the first day in a new school is lunch time. It’s quite a predicament. You have to choose between being bold and asking some random person if you can sit with them, risking total rejection…or sitting by yourself and in turn, looking like you clearly have no friends, risking your reputation for the rest of the school year…and possibly, beyond. On this particular first day, I had made it all the way to Social Studies, my 4 th class, without making up my mind on which option was less painful. A decision would have to be made soon, though, since lunch came right after Social Studies. Little did I know at the time, words were being said, on my behalf, to make sure that pain was not what this poor, new girl would experience.

Thing 2: Love over Time

Love. I have actually struggled to write about this one, which is odd because love seems to be an obvious, right? When it comes to parenting, we all know that we are supposed to love our kids. Allow me to go out on a limb here and assume that we all do, in fact, love our kids. However, the more I have read this portion of the book (Losing Your Marbles/Playing for Keeps), and thought about it, I have come to the conclusion that love is not simple. But it’s so incredibly important. According to “Marbles,” “Love over time is the one thing that matters most.” I typically try to put all of this in the context of my own experience as a parent. However, in this case, I think I will share my story as the result of love over time from my own mother and father. My parents were so good at communicating, “I love you.” I never went to bed at night without hearing it. I never left for school in the mornings without hearing it. My parents never failed to tell me they were proud of me. T

Thing 1: Time over Time

I will never forget the very first time Oliver buttoned his own shirt up all by himself. I’m certain it was on a Sunday (every other day of the week he’s in t-shirts). And Sundays, when you’re married to a pastor, are a single-parent effort to get the kids fed, clean, and looking halfway decent before running out the door at 8:30am. So ever since Isaac, our 2 nd son, was born, I have been trying my best to teach Oliver, our oldest, to get ready by himself. I began teaching him how to bring his own cereal bowl over to the sink when he was finished with breakfast. I showed him how to brush his teeth all by himself. He quickly learned how to put on his own clothes…until it came to those pesky buttons. He worked at it relentlessly. He’s the kind of kid that wants to be independent, and he wants to know how to do stuff. But he’s also the kind of kid who gets extremely frustrated if the attempt is still unsuccessful after roughly 2 minutes. So we endured many Sunday