It was my first day at a brand new school. I was in the 8th grade, and my
family had just moved from Kansas City, Missouri to Redlands, California. I was a fish out of water. And any kid who has ever had to move knows
that the most dreaded part of the first day in a new school is lunch time. It’s quite a predicament. You have to choose between being bold and asking
some random person if you can sit with them, risking total rejection…or sitting
by yourself and in turn, looking like you clearly have no friends, risking your
reputation for the rest of the school year…and possibly, beyond.
On this particular first day, I had made it all the way to Social Studies, my 4th class, without making up my mind on which option was less painful. A decision would have to be made soon, though, since lunch came right after Social Studies. Little did I know at the time, words were being said, on my behalf, to make sure that pain was not what this poor, new girl would experience.
Sure enough, the bell rang. Class ended. With sweaty palms, I gathered my belongings, and began walking slowly toward the door. As I silently talked through various scenarios in my head, I was interrupted by a group of girls. They invited me to sit with them. Obviously, I breathed a huge sigh of relief and accepted the invitation from these girls who eventually became my best friends.
His name was Mr. Beaumont, and he was my Social Studies teacher. I later discovered that during class on that first day, he approached those girls, and encouraged them to ask me to sit with them. He recognized my situation. I’m sure my fear and nerves were written all over my face. Regardless, he took 5 minutes to say probably 10-15 words that would drastically change the rest of my 8th grade year…and maybe even arguably, my life.
This is not a parenting story. But the point is, words matter so much! And the next chapter in Losing Your Marbles/Playing for Keeps is all about that. The things we say can make such a difference in someone’s life…especially our kids. Words stick around long after they are said…whether they are good or bad. They hold so much power to influence another. In my case, I was so thankful that someone decided to say a few words for my benefit, at that point in time.
If you are a parent, the words you say to your children over time could change their lives. Through words, you have the ability to make them feel loved. You have the ability to encourage them when they’ve found something they are good at. You have the ability to inspire them to have courage and try something new. You have the ability to teach them independence. You have the ability to show them that they are worth something.
One of my favorite lines in this section of the book says this: “If you want a kid to know they matter, then it matters what words you use when you talk to them and about them. The words you use can set them up to feel significant, valued, and unique.” The story about my teacher is a perfect example of this. To Mr. Beaumont, I mattered enough that he would go out of this way to ensure that I would not feel isolated and alone on that first day of school. And I haven’t forgotten it to this day.
You see, kids need to know they are worth something. And not just something—they need to know that they were worth enough that the God who made the entire universe chose to create them. He took the time to form an individual human being with an entire string of skills, talents, and interests that are unique to them. They need to know they are worth so much that the same God who made them also sent his one and only son to die for them.
Words over time are important for us, as parents, because if we neglect to say the words that our kids need to hear, than they will eventually search elsewhere for the answers. They will search elsewhere for their source of self-worth…and this could affect their eternity. As it so wisely states in “Marbles”…”Words over time can impact someone’s direction in life.” Your children will most likely be impacted by many voices throughout their lives. But you, as their parent, need to be the loudest.
On this particular first day, I had made it all the way to Social Studies, my 4th class, without making up my mind on which option was less painful. A decision would have to be made soon, though, since lunch came right after Social Studies. Little did I know at the time, words were being said, on my behalf, to make sure that pain was not what this poor, new girl would experience.
Sure enough, the bell rang. Class ended. With sweaty palms, I gathered my belongings, and began walking slowly toward the door. As I silently talked through various scenarios in my head, I was interrupted by a group of girls. They invited me to sit with them. Obviously, I breathed a huge sigh of relief and accepted the invitation from these girls who eventually became my best friends.
His name was Mr. Beaumont, and he was my Social Studies teacher. I later discovered that during class on that first day, he approached those girls, and encouraged them to ask me to sit with them. He recognized my situation. I’m sure my fear and nerves were written all over my face. Regardless, he took 5 minutes to say probably 10-15 words that would drastically change the rest of my 8th grade year…and maybe even arguably, my life.
This is not a parenting story. But the point is, words matter so much! And the next chapter in Losing Your Marbles/Playing for Keeps is all about that. The things we say can make such a difference in someone’s life…especially our kids. Words stick around long after they are said…whether they are good or bad. They hold so much power to influence another. In my case, I was so thankful that someone decided to say a few words for my benefit, at that point in time.
If you are a parent, the words you say to your children over time could change their lives. Through words, you have the ability to make them feel loved. You have the ability to encourage them when they’ve found something they are good at. You have the ability to inspire them to have courage and try something new. You have the ability to teach them independence. You have the ability to show them that they are worth something.
One of my favorite lines in this section of the book says this: “If you want a kid to know they matter, then it matters what words you use when you talk to them and about them. The words you use can set them up to feel significant, valued, and unique.” The story about my teacher is a perfect example of this. To Mr. Beaumont, I mattered enough that he would go out of this way to ensure that I would not feel isolated and alone on that first day of school. And I haven’t forgotten it to this day.
You see, kids need to know they are worth something. And not just something—they need to know that they were worth enough that the God who made the entire universe chose to create them. He took the time to form an individual human being with an entire string of skills, talents, and interests that are unique to them. They need to know they are worth so much that the same God who made them also sent his one and only son to die for them.
Words over time are important for us, as parents, because if we neglect to say the words that our kids need to hear, than they will eventually search elsewhere for the answers. They will search elsewhere for their source of self-worth…and this could affect their eternity. As it so wisely states in “Marbles”…”Words over time can impact someone’s direction in life.” Your children will most likely be impacted by many voices throughout their lives. But you, as their parent, need to be the loudest.
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