Thing 6: Fun Over Time

I started this blog post around Thanksgiving.  It’s now mid-February.  Needless to say, it’s been a busy few months, and so I’m just now picking this back up for the last and final “thing every kid needs.”  Because it’s been so long, please feel free to reference my previous 6 posts in order to figure out what the heck I’m talking about!

Anyway, so since I began writing this over Thanksgiving, for the sake of this post, let me pretend, for a moment, it’s that time of the year again.  Throughout the month of November a flurry of inevitable clichés begin appearing on Facebook (ie: daily “I’m thankful for” posts, pictures of elementary age children in their pilgrim and/or Indian costumes, etc.)  Typically, I roll my eyes at these things…or anything cliché, for that matter.  But one particular post jumped out at me the other day.  A friend of mine posted a picture of a project her kindergartner had done at school.  He was supposed to list who he was thankful for and why.  His paper said this: “I am thankful for my dad.  He plays with me.”  Such a simple answer, but what an incredible window this is into the heart of a child.  Playing with your kids is important.  Don’t underestimate the power of having fun, because “Fun over time makes a friendship (or relationship) go deeper.”
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Fast forward back to the present.  Isaac, my funny, yet feisty, 1 ½ year old has lately been in one of those extremely trying phases of constantly testing the limits.  Just the mention of the word, “No” sends him into an uncontrollable spell of crying and screaming.  Wait-I thought we were supposed to be talking about fun, right?  Right…and this has been anything but fun!  On a daily basis, I feel like I’m taking crazy pills as I figure out how to deal with Isaac’s fits of rage while I attempt to remain calm. 

This morning, after my husband left for work, and Isaac and I were on the way home from taking Oliver to school, I had already formulated a mental list of tasks I intended to accomplish in my short 3 hours before needing to head back to school for pickup.  However, this plan changed when he threw another one of his fits during a quick stop at Target.  It resulted in him screaming the entire drive home.  I made him stay in his room while he calmed down, and I attempted to gather my thoughts on how to handle the situation.  Then I thought about “Losing Your Marbles”.  I decided to try having some fun.

And that’s exactly what we did.  We spent the next hour and a half playing hide-and-seek (his fave), tickling, reading books, and jumping on the bed.  It was the perfect cure at that moment.  He just needed some undivided attention and fun with his mom!

Now, I’d be lying to you if I tried to say that fixed the temper issues from there on out.  No, we’re still working on it.  But at that moment, after we had spent so much time getting onto him over and over again, I felt the need to show him that even though we’re going to go through difficult times together, it’s still important that we have fun together too.  One of my favorite lines in this chapter says this: “Having fun together helps us keep fighting for a relationship even when it’s difficult. Fun moves us to keep growing, keep caring, keep loving—regardless.”  I wish I could quote the entire chapter…it’s that good.  But I can’t.  That would be plagiarism.  Therefore, you need to purchase the book and read it yourself!

So…one of my inspirations in life is Julia Child, and how she “mastered the art of French cooking.”  I may not have done that, but I have mastered the art of multi-tasking…as most moms have.  On any given day, around 5ish pm, you can usually find me cooking dinner, picking up toys, feeding kids a small pre-dinner snack to hold them over, cleaning up spilled milk, folding laundry, entertaining kids, and rocking out to Disney hits on Pandora…all at the same time.  I am the queen of accomplishing, and I am highly in favor of killing 2 birds with 1 stone…or 3 or 4 birds, for that matter.  However, while some may think this is great, and they may admire my drive for getting stuff done…I have actually felt convicted about this in light of this very thing.  Sometimes, we have to be willing to put the laundry and cleaning on hold, and be willing to just stop and play with our kids (with no phones or iPads, might I add).

Maybe you’re saying, “Sure, I have fun with my kids.  We LOVE to have fun!”  Absolutely- who doesn’t? But on a day-to-day basis, I’m so guilty of getting down on the floor to play with Isaac…while I add items to my Cartwheel app for my next grocery shopping trip.  Or playing superheroes with Oliver…while I clean up clutter around the house.  But this isn’t good enough.  They know my attention is divided. 

I challenge you to do you exactly what I am challenging myself to do. Yes, life is busy.  Yes, we still have to pay attention to our parental responsibilities.  But if we’re all honest, we all could spend a little less time checking off our to-do lists and catching up on our Facebook newsfeeds…and spend a little more time engaging in undivided fun with our kids.  Next time you decide to take the family out to dinner, leave the iPads and Nintendo DS’s at home.  Have fun, lively conversation with each other.  Next time you rush home from work to immediately begin making dinner, delay it for 20 minutes to play Go Fish with your son or daughter.  Remember, in the blink of an eye, they’ll be out of the house and you will seldom have these opportunities anymore.